Valentine’s day is one of those holidays that attracts as much controversy as it does celebration. Every year, we engage in The Great Debate about the usefulness of the holiday and its ancient origins.  As a kid, it was all about sharing love and candy hearts with your neighbors and classmates. But as you became an adult, the pressure around being in love crept into the holiday. Now, not only are you expected to be coupled up and shower your partner with affection, but you are also supposed to have mind-blowing sex. There are so many expectations for just one day. What happened to celebrating by giving kind notes to your friends?  

Whether you love Valentine’s or despise it, everyone feels the undertone of pressure that surrounds the day. You should never feel like you need to show up as more desirable on a specific day to fulfill a holiday requirement. In fact, we think the best day to have sex is when all of that pressure is gone –let’s say, February 15th. Here’s why.

1. Sex, pleasure and romanceare notdefined by what you do (or don’t do) on Valentine’s Day. It’s the private, intimate moments of daily life (like February 15th ) or any other day really that make us feel sexy and loved.  

2. Once sex becomes synonymous with an event, it can create stress and pressure. And stress and pressure are not conducive to desire.

3. In the last few years, there has been a movement toward celebrating your friends on Valentine’s Day. We suggest you take the day to share why you love your best community.

Now, if the mood strikes you, by all means, go for it – sex is a great way to relieve stress as it helps raise endorphins and other hormones that boost your mood. But please remember, it’s just a day and the pressures are only what we allow them to be.